AT THE SEA, AT THE LAKE, THOSE WERE THE SIMPLER DAYS...

Those were Very Reflective Times...my Childhood Adolescent years and our weekend trips to the lake...It was Always a TIME of True Introspection, I guess when you are amidst the BEAUTY of the Wilderness, you can't but help Ponder 'Your Insides'! See if you can look at yourself with the same kind of REVELRY as you View God's Creations? For are You Not His CREATION TOO? So why was it we were Always So Critical of Ourselves, Overlycritical and constantly set ourselves up for Impossible Expectations?
When I went to the lake, All that Pressure I felt(some self-created, some not)Dissapated in the Serenity of the Calming, Flowing, Radiating, Gorgouse Balsam Lake! The so-called problem of did Kevin Really like Me or My two-faced Envious best friend Martha(what they call frenemy these days).  Let's just say that a Folly of Youth is Putting 'Too Much Emphasis on and Pressure on one's tender HEART with matters which Inevitably Become Insignificant!' And so in Our Youth We WASTE TIME, Irritrievable TIME! I guess that's why when You Truly Become an Adult, it is one of the first Foundational Truths, You Come to UNDERSTAND! Time is a Luxury, FEW People Have to SPARE! As You Stand Outside, the Wind's Gentle Breeze, Blows By the TIME you have Already Spent!

There was one thing However, that Did Not CHANGE, Even up at Balsam Lake. That was the SADNESS that Haunted Me, ever since I Could Recollect! But as the Sun descended upon the lake and the different Nuiances of Green Eminating from the Plush Bush(Whilst the Golden Rays of SUN Brilliantly Shone through them), there was But a Moment to Forget! 
Makes Me GIGGLE Even Now Remembering one time my parent's best friends Rado and Georgia came up with us for a week's stay. Now All of Us being Croatian(by birth or decent)have a Genetic Disposition to Fishing! We've All been doing it, since even before we could ride our bikes.

Now another thing Croatians are Predisposed to is The Celebration of Food and Wine and MUSIC(They always come together, even at breakfeast). Food is Involved with Every Aspect of Our LIVES! It's what brings Us TOGETHER to Bond and Talk and Update Each Other and for REVELRY, where there is ALWAYS MUSIC...Harmonies of Family and Friends...that CLOSENESS that MUSIC BRINGS!  Much to be said on the Subject of Croatians and their Culture of FOOD, MUSIC and ART!  
That 'Perfect Morning on Balsam Lake' , it was just Us 3 Ladies(well, I was not very old)and before casting our rods we Unravelled the wrapping off all the food. There was breaded chicken drumsticks(the ultimate comfort food), Bean Salad, Fresh Tomatoes and Cubanelle Peppers, Some Antipasto(The best Cheeses,Pursciutto and Superbly spiced Cacciatore Sausages), 3 Kinds of Bread and Always Freshly cut Fruit, especially watermelon, canteloupe and berries. And this in Our HOME,  or on a small Fishing boat on the lake's edge, trying to capture the main ingredient for Dinner...was Considered a SMALL Feast!
Of Course We opened a nice Cabernet(back in the days when most of them did'nt Taste like Vinegar for Salad). We were Now Ready to cast our rods, not so far away from shore, and the Wine had Relaxed Us Just Right! We Fished(which I always Found that when I Did, I was Overcome with Feelings of PEACE! Maybe it's My HEART Tied to CHRIST;the FISHERMAN OF MEN, but I FELT that Way since I was a CHILD!) The Excitement one felt as the fish began tugging and biting and the Thrill of Reeling One in, the Anticipation of the size and the sense of Accomplishment(Providing the Basic Essentials/Food)...Balsam Lake was at that Time Plentiful in Lake Bass, Rainbow Trout and Pickerel(Bass being my fav). Georgia, Mom and I spent HOURS Fishing, Eating, Sharing and Above All LAUGHING...the Kind of Gutteral Laughter that Releases those ENDORFINS;like a Drug, Only you Can't Fabricate it). I Loved being with Georgia, it would Always Remind me of being with my favourite aunt(the one I can thank for my dual childhood in the Croatian countryside and multitudes of Islands)her nickname was Beba, (which in Croatian meant Doll),because she had the Perfect features of a Doll;like my Trinity was! Born on the 28th of August of the year 2003, and the Exact date I gave my Obstetrician Mr. Nicholson when he asked me in July if I had a feeling about the actual day of her birth. Taken slightly aback, I told him that I can Do BETTER than that...I Can Give You an EXACT date, that was REVEALED to me by the HOLY SPIRIT but a few days ago...it Shall be 28.8.03...On this day was a Planetary ALLIANCE that hadn't happened in 60,000 years(not 60 but 60,000!)...this is an INCREDIBLY RARE Occurence...and it is the Day Your BELOVED TRINITY Shall Be BORN...3 Weeks before her due date of Sept 15(2 days after Desi's birthday)...when She Arrived in this World All the Nurses and Doctor said that Her Face was like that of a Doll's and that her features were not of a newborn but a 3 month old). On the Eve of the 27th I went into Labour, Trinity My Third Child, had 'The Show' for first Time...and it Was Time to Go(even though I didn't feel like it)! Got there Only to Find Out it wasn't quite Time but due to severe dehydration(having just finished a whole 4 litre bottle of P.C.Spring Water)a problem of mine, I should be admitted!  When Dr. Nicholson arrived in the Morning he said, "You weren't Kidding about the 28th?"(Can I Get a WITNESS!) with which I replied, "I never Kid when it Comes to Matters of the Holy Spirit!" .TRINITY ELEKTRA was Born at 3:37 on the 28th of August, just as the Angel Spoke the Prophecy of Her Birth into me before that Day...Did You Know that Three in the 'noon is GOD'S Hour...like Three in the morning is the devil's...Explains All the Countless Hours Spent at the Window at that Time, Sensing the Impending Danger of the Enemy(Emnity)!
Having No Siblings(except one that died in 81?, long story for another Post and Time),and My FAMILY Primarily in Croatia(but also in Switzerland, Germany and Netherlands)but Raised by My Father and Mother with A GREAT SENSE OF FAMILY CLOSENESS...it was HARD Always saying Good-bye to them! I was BLESSED that My Parents Gave me the TIME to go see them Together or Alone, on annual Vacations...But a Deep Rooted SADNESS Developed in Me, Suffering from 'Yearly Seperation Anxiety'...when I had to return to Canada...Without My KIN...LOYALTY that Belonged to them, I would Give to others to Forsake! For in FAMILY...No matter What, You Forgive, Understand and Progress in the Relationship, RIGHT? Well that's the Way it's Supposed to Be! But for Many, Is Not the Experience!
Anyhow, in this Moment in TIME, Everything 'Was Perfect' and You could say the three of us were 'Happily drunk' when we cast our rods at the EXACT Same TIME...All three of Us getting Caught on the Same Tree(Bush)! We Began ROARING Like LIONS, as the little Fishing Boat of Ours 'ROCKED the Lake', and the More We Tried to Untangle the Lines, the More We LAUGHED and the More Our Boat DANCED upon the LAKE! We must have been at it for at least half an hour Till' we Cut our Lines with the knife from the Antipasto.
We LAUGHED All the way back to the Cottage but for Dinner we Had Seven Lake Bass, served in white wine, fresh garlic, lemon and parsely(Alla' Buzzera)under the Multitude of the Night's stars, that which We Do'nt get to see In the City! At a Very Young Age I Understood that These were the times in LIFE that REALLY mattered!  Not ALL the ENVY, DECEIT and PLAYING of GAMES(I wasn't Designed for)that Others regurgetated Our Way! Because of their Envy, Lack of Self-esteem, or just Pure wicked ways! Which Had the Capacity to Takeover Your THOUGHTS, that would be MUCH BETTER SERVED Pondering on GOD and CREATING!

During These Days at BALSAM LAKE, I Would Get Somewhat A REPRIEVE from the SADNESS that PLAGUED My SOUL...the Distraction of the BEAUTY of NATURE and the ENTICEMENT of a Much SIMPLER LIFE...And Then it Was TIME to Go Back...I RARELY Wanted to...Back to the CITY...where the BURDEN of SADNESS Immediately Fell Down Upon My Back + + +